Nick Greene (is a writer)
Nick’s first book, How to Watch Basketball Like a Genius, was released in 2021 from Abrams Press. Buy it at your local bookstore. Or someone else’s local bookstore. Or Amazon. Or Barnes & Noble.
"Really novel way to approach the game.”
The New York Times
“One of the best basketball books of the last several years.”
Fansided
Nick has written about trying to ride the entire New York Subway system in one day, surviving the apocalypse without a spare set of contact lenses, and whether or not Elvis was actually any good at karate. He covered the NBA and NFL for Slate, has reviewed Guy Fieri's restaurant for the Village Voice, and took cold showers for a week for a Men's Health story. What's more, he has also written the very website you are reading right now.
Email: nickRgreene@gmail.com
Twitter: @nickgreene
Chicago Magazine
Mitch Trubisky Grows Up | The agony and the ecstasy of a Chicago Bears quarterback.
“Chicago Bears quarterback Mitch Trubisky has been throwing passes for much of the morning with varying success. In his defense, the receivers have been all over the place. In their defense, they are children.”
The Chicago Harp That Rules the World | The Lyon & Healy factory’s heavenly instruments.
“When harpists play a concert grand — like, really jam on one — they hug and cradle the fat end of the body while rocking the 80-pound frame back and forth. It looks not unlike someone trying to soothe a nervous Great Dane during a thunderstorm.”
The World’s Most Peculiar Company | How does Hammacher Schlemmer continue to survive in the age of Amazon?
“On a whiteboard near the lab’s back wall are equations scribbled in dry-erase marker: a mess of superscripts, subscripts, and Greek letters. It’s Homes’s law, Faraj explains, which relates to the proportional temperature of superconductors. They had been testing electric blankets.”
VICE
I Used Sun Tzu's 'The Art of War' to Lower My Internet Bill | "All warfare is based on deception."
“The Xfinity operator probably fancied herself victorious after she hung up. Little did she know, bolstered by Sun Tzu, I do not fear being disgraced ... I don't retreat; I ebb like the tide. And only a fool turns his back on the tide. (That's not a Sun Tzu quote; I think it might be from Moana.)”
My Day of Wellness Made Me Feel Like Crap | Freezing, puncturing, and pickling myself to a higher plane of being.
“The woman controlling the operation via touchscreen said it would be around negative 170 degrees Fahrenheit in the chamber, though when I stepped inside it felt like a balmy minus 160 degrees.”
My Failed Quest to Get Rich by Being a Notary Public | An adventure full of intrigue, suspense, and stamps.
“All the bathrooms required keys for entry, and this news sparked a minor panic among the caffeinated notary hopefuls who had gathered in the conference room. Was this our first test? Does the Notary Way require the taming of all bodily functions?
Mental Floss
Good, Honest Football | Re-watching the XFL.
"In the third quarter, Hitmen QB Charles Puleri is tackled after attempting a throw and stays crumpled on the ground. He eventually hobbles off as a disgusted Jesse Ventura laments his poor play. We eventually cut live to Puleri's mic'd up concussion test, complete with running commentary from Ventura. In retrospect, this was as ridiculous as a 1950s cigarette ad where a doctor recommends his favorite brand."
SLATE
The Warriors Flash-Fried the NBA, and They’re Just Getting Started | Coming to conclusions after the 2017 NBA Finals.
"You don’t add Kevin Durant to your 73-win team to eke out a few wins here and there. The 2017 Warriors were engineered for devastation. If you’d assembled them in your garage, representatives from the Department of Defense would come knocking at your door, and they would be wearing hazmat suits."
Village Voice
Searching for Guy Fieri At Guy’s American Kitchen and Bar | A review of the celebrity chef's Times Square restaurant.
"I’ve been making fun of Guy Fieri for a pretty long time. I mean, look at him: If we ever get dragged into World War III, the Axis powers will put his chubby, bleached-blond head on propaganda posters to illustrate what us awful Americans are like. But I’m not alone, everyone makes fun of Guy Fieri. He’s the ankle-high, tattoo-covered, goateed orange in the forest of low-hanging fruits."
MEDIA APPEARANCES, ETC.
New York Times Interview | “It Doesn’t Take Genius to Understand Basketball. But It Helps.”
15 Facts About Coffee | "The List Show" on Mental Floss' YouTube page
Talking About NBA Free Agency | Slate's "Hang Up and Listen" podcast